TC's Ministry of Propaganda

Boston News Net - new post

I just posted something new to the Boston News Net blog:

http://bostonnewsnet.blogspot.com/2008/05/regarding-senator-kennedy.html

Stalemate

Stalemate
Originally uploaded by chaostheory

Yesterday afternoon, Harvard Square. The woman next to the car is trying to park her car. The woman in the black coat is standing directly behind the aforementioned car, deliberately blocking the car because she was trying to save the spot for somebody. And did this for at least 20 minutes. I blocked her face out so that somebody doesn't spot her on the street and try to smack her over the head with a stale baguette.

Wait, that's what they'd do in Brookline. In Cambridge they'd hold a rally.

Seriously, 20 to 30 minutes of this (conversation is paraphrased)--

Car woman: "I'm trying to park, would you please move?"
Coat woman: "I'm not moving."
Car woman: "Please move, I don't want to hit with my car."
Coat woman: "You wanna hit me? Go ahead and hit me."
(She actually stepped closer to the car when she said that.)

Traffic gets backed up on Church Street. A car finally comes by that is the car for which the woman in the coat is saving the spot, and what happens? Nothing. Because think about it: Second Car woman (the woman driving the car that the Coat woman was trying to save the space for) can't park unless Coat woman moves... but if Coat woman moves, then First Car woman is going to back into the space she's been trying to park in now for about a half-hour. So this goes on for another five minutes, during which Second Car woman actually tries to argue with First Car woman directly.

Let me interject here and state the obvious: Coat woman and Second Car woman are out of their fucking skulls. There is a rule to the road here, and the rule is first come, first served. IN A CAR. You do not have any moral, legal, or ethical right to a parking space unless you get there IN A CAR and park that car in the space first. Having somebody stand in that space and call your cell phone to tell you they're saving you a space is offensive. On the scale of things that are offensive in the Boston area, this is actually more offensive than driving to Southie in January after a snowstorm and moving a barrel so you can park in a space somebody else shoveled-- and act which, mind you, is offensive but actually legal to do.

What broke this stalemate? Random passerby says to First Car woman: "Hey, there's a cop down the street. Want me to get him?"

First Car woman: "Please."

Coat woman: Leaves. Seriously. Just walks away at that point.

Denouement: First Car woman parks. While she's at the central meter (these spaces in Harvard Square have been converted to the "single meter/get a receipt to put on your dashboard" system), Second Car woman comes walking up the street and pointedly says, "Have a good day!"

I hope the First Car woman did. She deserved it after all that.

$1 bus, my ass.

I get a MySpace bulletin that an acquaintance of mine is doing a show in New York City this month. Cost to get into the show? $5. So I think to myself, "Self, money is a little tight. But you do have a lot of vacation time and you could take a half day and go to New York, because there's a bus service that can get you from Boston to New York City for a buck." Allegedly. So I go to their website. I had a vision-- deluded as it may sound-- of getting from Boston to New York and seeing a show all for under a ten-spot. Now, I know the drill, I've read up on this-- there's something like a single $1 fare available on each bus. If you want it, you have to book early to get it. Fares rise from there depending on how soon the bus is departing. I'm only looking at a week or two out, so I'm probably not getting the $1 fare. Fine. The last time I took a Greyhound down to NYC and back, though, it cost me about $30 round trip. So I'm thinking, this new low-cost service should get me to New York and back for at least less than $30 round trip, right?

Wrong. The website quotes me a price of $30 one-way. Round-trip, double that, plus taxes, etc. Here's the real kick in the pants: even though Greyhound has raised their Boston to New York prices, the same trip on Greyhound would cost me $15 less roundtrip than it will on the low-cost bus line that is a division of Greyhound. 

Wellbee says Be Well!

I saw this on another site and had to look at it a few times. It's a promotional poster from the 50's for the oral polio vaccine. Notice that the third selling point is "prevents polio"... Do I really give a damn how it tastes and how fast it works if it, y'know, prevents freakin' polio? Isn't that selling point enough? If a cure for cancer was developed tomorrow, does anyone really believe that it wouldn't be used if it didn't come in grape flavor?

The Order of St. Gino the Contractor

Just posted something over at the Boston News Net blog:

http://bostonnewsnet.blogspot.com/2008/04/order-of-st-gino-contractor.html

"Abilene Glycol"?

Something is going on at the Science Center at Harvard-- Oxford Street is shut down from the junction of Kirkland and Oxford up past 60 Oxford Street, and even foot traffic is being routed away from the part of Oxford closer to the junction:

View Larger Map

Here's a shot of the end of Oxford Street, taken from the junction. The Science Center is on the left of the shot:

Traffic was (maybe still is) backed up into Porter Square, Union Square-- stop and go, bumper to bumper. I've heard rumors of a gas leak or a chemical leak. WHDH is on the scene:

Unfortunately, the WHDH website reports that the problem is "abilene glycol". I'm no scientist, but I've never heard of abilene glycol. So being the dutiful internet geek I went to Google, and searched for abilene glycol, and got exactly one hit... which was WHDH's page reporting the possible leak of abilene glycol at Harvard's Science Center today.

My guess is that somebody reporting misheard "ethylene glycol", about which you can read here on Wikipedia, which is never, ever wrong. In fact, by lunchtime I'm sure you'll be able to find "abilene glycol" on Wikipedia, too.

On a quest for my daughter, and the power of dance!

My oldest two kids take dance classes (at a school we highly recommend), and my daughter has been itching to practice one of her numbers at home. Problem was, we couldn't find the song she was dancing to *anywhere*. The song is "Dancing in the Street", and I know you're thinking, "What? You couldn't find Dancing in the Street?" Well, sure we could. We could find the original by Martha and the Vandellas, we could find the Van Halen cover, we could find the Mick Jagger/David Bowie version from Live Aid... but not the version her dance class was using. Friends, let me tell you this:

There are almost as many versions of "Dancing in the Streets" as there are of "Yesterday", and I think we found them all except the one we needed.

Ever heard of an artist named Myra? No? Me neither. This is no slam on Myra; it's just that you, like me, are probably not a 9 year old girl. You, like me, probably don't turn to Radio Disney for your daily dose of pop culture. (Neither, for that matter, does my daughter which complicated matters-- she didn't know the name of who did the song, and so listened to a lot of different versions while saying "No, that's not the one.")

And you, like me, might hear the name and think of a couple of similarly named singers (Mya? Maya?) and get frustrated upon finding no evidence that these similarly named singers have covered "Dancing in the Streets". But thankfully, we have the intertubes nowadays, and thanks to the All Music Guide I was able to find "Myra". Turns out her version of "Dancing in the Streets" is included in the movie "Recess: School's Out" which, frankly, I must have missed entirely because I never heard of it. Unable to find it anywhere online (because we only wanted the one song, not seeing the need to further familiarize ourselves nor our daughter with Myra's oeuvre) I took myself after work last night to the Newbury Comics in Harvard Square.

I have been going to Newbury Comics for music (and t-shirts, and random items) for over 20 years. It's a hip place. It is not a place to go and ask the people to help you find a CD by Maya. Nonetheless, I quietly approached one the of the people there, and told them what I was looking for.

Long story short: Newbury Comics took care of me and my daughter. Alicia (at least I think her name was Alicia; I could be mistaken but hey, I'm old now) at the Harvard Square location looked in the Children's section for me. Not finding the CD, she looked it up on their MUZE system. Then checked to see if they had it in any of the Newbury Comics locations. They did-- a discounted copy for $1.99 at the Newbury Street location. She called. They held it for me. I took the #1 bus over from Harvard Square to the Hynes/ICA stop, walked up Newbury and voila: my quest, it is complete. There will be swingin', swayin' and indeed, records playin', and dancing in the street.

Confidential to anybody at Newbury Comics corporate offices: Alicia should get a raise. That was some serious attention to customer service for a $1.99 sale. 

You made that up.

I can be seen in this week's edition of Boston News Net with JR Strauss, a satirical news program with a decidedly local focus. The show takes place live every Saturday night at 9:30pm at ImprovBoston. Later, they post it online for the world to see. QuickTime video of the show available here:

http://www.bostonnewsnet.com/podcast.html

I'm somewhere after the halfway mark with a piece I wrote, but watch the whole thing-- there's a bunch of very talented people involved.

I'm not sure why this never got posted, but....

Just found that this has been set to 'draft' status since January 30th. ImprovBoston is moved into their new space--which is AWESOME. But the old space was home in many ways to me for many years, and that's why I wrote this post back in January, around the time that the old location was turning off the lights for the last time.

I was 23 years old and living at my Dad's house in Wakefield when I first stepped into the Back Alley Theater in Inman Square. ImprovBoston didn't control it then, though they played there a lot; I think they were still doing a regular gig at Joe Tecce's at the time. I didn't know from ImprovBoston. Truthfully, I didn't know from improv. I'd seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway" (UK version), and felt a kinship with Mike McShane because we were both large men and he was just so damned funny, and got to sing songs and have minor love scenes with Josie Lawrence which seemed like a great way to spend your time. And then I saw an ad in the Boston Phoenix. An improv troupe in Boston was holding auditions. So I figured, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" and called the number. Then on a fateful night in 1992, I went to the audition.

That audition was my first introduction to many touchstones of the last fifteen years of my life. Naturally, it was held at 50 Vassar Street. (This will mean everything to Boston-area improv people and nothing to almost everyone else.)  And much to my astonishment, I was cast. (Thank you, Renegade Duck!) I went to my first improv show a week later. Renegade Duck was performing in what was then a comedy club in the bottom of the Charles Playhouse (current home of Blue Man Group.)

Three months later, if that, I performed with the ImprovBoston mainstage cast at an outgig at a high school auditorium. I had no business being on that stage-- the cast included Adam Felber, Ron Jones, Nancy (Howland) Walker and Larry Pizza... and me. With ninety days of experience, and maybe one show under my belt, I was playing with the big kids. I don't think I'd even performed with Renegade Duck onstage at that point in my improv life.

Within a year ImprovBoston had the lease on the Back Alley Theater. I remember very small houses. I remember when the Abbey was the dive-iest of dive bars, and what's now the hip rock room was the place where the IB cast would go to drink and avoid the regulars. I remember when Christina's opened and having conversations with Ray, the guy from Liverpool who owned the place, wherein I learned for the first time what Khulfi was (rosewater & pistachio ice cream, with a hint of cardamom) and why it was named Christina's (his wife's name). I remember when there was still Jake & Earl's (and I still ate meat, so it was a fantastic combination) and when the Druid opened, and the Soho Bistro, and when it was Sandy & Son instead of Stellabella, and... I am old, people.

I remember Picture This shows (a troupe that was three people, then five people, then three people again, and in the last incarnation I was one of them along with Nancy Walker and a guy named Steve LaBollita) that included short movies, including a showing of something called "Frankenstein and the Planet of the Monsters" that a fellow Renegade Duck was in... it was horrible.

The guy who directed it went on to be the guy who directed "The Darien Gap" and "Next Stop Wonderland".

I left Renegade Duck. I took a break. I joined TheaterSports at ImprovBoston, played there for maybe five years. I bought a house. I got married. I was lucky enough to be present for the birth of what we eventually came to know as Musical Improv Company. I was fantastically lucky enough to have three amazing children. I directed shows. I had major abdominal surgery.  I co-directed TheaterSports. I had a major hospitalization. I woke up one day and found that I was one of the old guard now.

I was 38 years old and living in my own house in Wakefield when I last stepped into ImprovBoston's theater. It's time to move, I know that, but God, that little space holds so much of my life within its walls. And I'm really going to miss it.

I think it was a compliment

Wednesday night: Karaoke night at The Asgard. There's a crowd of regulars from ImprovBoston who are there pretty much every week (because, hey, sometimes performers need an audience even on their off nights.)

Kevin says to me:

"You are the second gayest straight guy I have ever met."

I'm vaguely offended that I'm only the second.