A paean to the senior Senator upon the news that he's been granted an honorary knighthood. From the 3/9/09 edition of Boston News Net. Written by TC Cheever; performed by Jacey Bokuniewicz. Directed/edited by Ian Brownell.
Improv, Theater & Media
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Stalemate
Yesterday afternoon, Harvard Square. The woman next to the car is trying to park her car. The woman in the black coat is standing directly behind the aforementioned car, deliberately blocking the car because she was trying to save the spot for somebody. And did this for at least 20 minutes. I blocked her face out so that somebody doesn't spot her on the street and try to smack her over the head with a stale baguette.
Wait, that's what they'd do in Brookline. In Cambridge they'd hold a rally.
Seriously, 20 to 30 minutes of this (conversation is paraphrased)--
Car woman: "I'm trying to park, would you please move?"
Coat woman: "I'm not moving."
Car woman: "Please move, I don't want to hit with my car."
Coat woman: "You wanna hit me? Go ahead and hit me."
(She actually stepped closer to the car when she said that.)
Traffic gets backed up on Church Street. A car finally comes by that is the car for which the woman in the coat is saving the spot, and what happens? Nothing. Because think about it: Second Car woman (the woman driving the car that the Coat woman was trying to save the space for) can't park unless Coat woman moves... but if Coat woman moves, then First Car woman is going to back into the space she's been trying to park in now for about a half-hour. So this goes on for another five minutes, during which Second Car woman actually tries to argue with First Car woman directly.
Let me interject here and state the obvious: Coat woman and Second Car woman are out of their fucking skulls. There is a rule to the road here, and the rule is first come, first served. IN A CAR. You do not have any moral, legal, or ethical right to a parking space unless you get there IN A CAR and park that car in the space first. Having somebody stand in that space and call your cell phone to tell you they're saving you a space is offensive. On the scale of things that are offensive in the Boston area, this is actually more offensive than driving to Southie in January after a snowstorm and moving a barrel so you can park in a space somebody else shoveled-- and act which, mind you, is offensive but actually legal to do.
What broke this stalemate? Random passerby says to First Car woman: "Hey, there's a cop down the street. Want me to get him?"
First Car woman: "Please."
Coat woman: Leaves. Seriously. Just walks away at that point.
Denouement: First Car woman parks. While she's at the central meter (these spaces in Harvard Square have been converted to the "single meter/get a receipt to put on your dashboard" system), Second Car woman comes walking up the street and pointedly says, "Have a good day!"
I hope the First Car woman did. She deserved it after all that.
Wait, that's what they'd do in Brookline. In Cambridge they'd hold a rally.
Seriously, 20 to 30 minutes of this (conversation is paraphrased)--
Car woman: "I'm trying to park, would you please move?"
Coat woman: "I'm not moving."
Car woman: "Please move, I don't want to hit with my car."
Coat woman: "You wanna hit me? Go ahead and hit me."
(She actually stepped closer to the car when she said that.)
Traffic gets backed up on Church Street. A car finally comes by that is the car for which the woman in the coat is saving the spot, and what happens? Nothing. Because think about it: Second Car woman (the woman driving the car that the Coat woman was trying to save the space for) can't park unless Coat woman moves... but if Coat woman moves, then First Car woman is going to back into the space she's been trying to park in now for about a half-hour. So this goes on for another five minutes, during which Second Car woman actually tries to argue with First Car woman directly.
Let me interject here and state the obvious: Coat woman and Second Car woman are out of their fucking skulls. There is a rule to the road here, and the rule is first come, first served. IN A CAR. You do not have any moral, legal, or ethical right to a parking space unless you get there IN A CAR and park that car in the space first. Having somebody stand in that space and call your cell phone to tell you they're saving you a space is offensive. On the scale of things that are offensive in the Boston area, this is actually more offensive than driving to Southie in January after a snowstorm and moving a barrel so you can park in a space somebody else shoveled-- and act which, mind you, is offensive but actually legal to do.
What broke this stalemate? Random passerby says to First Car woman: "Hey, there's a cop down the street. Want me to get him?"
First Car woman: "Please."
Coat woman: Leaves. Seriously. Just walks away at that point.
Denouement: First Car woman parks. While she's at the central meter (these spaces in Harvard Square have been converted to the "single meter/get a receipt to put on your dashboard" system), Second Car woman comes walking up the street and pointedly says, "Have a good day!"
I hope the First Car woman did. She deserved it after all that.
Wellbee says Be Well!
I saw this on another site and had to look at it a few times. It's a promotional poster from the 50's for the oral polio vaccine. Notice that the third selling point is "prevents polio"... Do I really give a damn how it tastes and how fast it works if it, y'know, prevents freakin' polio? Isn't that selling point enough? If a cure for cancer was developed tomorrow, does anyone really believe that it wouldn't be used if it didn't come in grape flavor?
