Disclosure: I own two watches that I bought through Overstock.com. At least I think they were both from there... at least one is. The other might have come from SmartBargains.com. The point is this: I did not pay full price for either of them. Not even close! And I think I got free shipping. But I digress.
The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker is alleged to have a list price of $60.00. But you can get it for $29.95, and Overstock.com promises in the product description that "Laughs will abound with this novelty Hillary Clinton nutcracker".
Now, I have had some experience in both comedy and retail (including stints at two different Lechmere locations back when the world was simpler and there still existed such a thing of brown and orange Optima Bold-clad beauty as a Lechmere location... though I think I was at one of them during the red and blue redress, but again I digress.)
I can tell you this, without fear of being wrong: Laughs will not abound with this novelty Hillary Clinton nutcracker. Oh sure, it's funny. Even my pinko liberal ass will admit that. And it's an admirably crafted bit of funny; the thing looks like Hillary, if Hillary had sharp metal teeth lining her upper thighs. Go ahead, insert your own joke there. You know you want to.
But laughs abounding? No. The most laughter you'll get from this is viewing the page on Overstock. Maybe you don't like Hillary and you'll buy one for yourself. Maybe you'll buy one as a gift, to needle a liberal friend or bring a smile to the face of your favorite Republican. But believe you me, laughter will not abound. Why? Because the joke is right there in the name. This isn't a $60 dollar joke, friends. It's barely a $5 clearance item at Spencer Gifts kind of joke. This is a bit, a bit that would get a big laugh on Carson if Carson was still alive and hosting a late night talk show.
Nor will it ever be "collectible that will be remembered for years to come". It'll end up in a drawer somewhere, dusty and unused until Thanksgiving rolls around and you're trying to crack walnuts or filberts or something, and your child or grandchild pulls it out while fishing around for a garden variety nutcracker and comes up with Hillary and asks very innocently why a woman would crack nuts between her thighs and you decide this really isn't a conversation you want to have on Thanksgiving with your child or grandchild and hey kids, look! Macy's Parade on TV!
Now if somebody can animate that Hillary nutcracker and get it to do a plie or pas de deux, set it all to Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker with a Mickey doll as the Mouse King and post it on YouTube then maybe-- MAYBE-- laughter will abound.